About Us

Samual:

I never felt that I would be able to restore our relationship after Kim found out about my affairs. She was so heartbroken and told me she would never recover. My guilt felt overwhelming, and I thought about giving up. I heard Carol on a podcast talking about if I could “put in the hard work of making her feel safe, show her that I was learning the skills to manage the guilt and shame of having done this to her, and practice all the relational skills to convey that I wanted to be a different man” there was a chance that this marriage could be saved. 

It has been 2 hard years, but I have helped her feel safe again because I have showed her how important my marriage is and how much I have learned about myself. I have built for the first time a solid foundation of values we need to move forward, and we are even helping other couples to learn to use many of the skills Carol taught us in Helping Couples Heal from Infidelity and Find Love Again. That book and Carol’s teaching gave me hope that I could turn our marriage around and find some sort of purpose from all the despair that I had caused.

Kim

I love this book because it spells out exactly what to do for our marriage to repair it and make it stronger than it has ever been. I never thought our marriage would recover, but more importantly I didn’t think that I would get over the pain and trust Samual again. I didn’t think I had it in me, but the ERCEM exercises helped me to release my fears and build trust again. My favorite exercise was writing to the Affair because it seemed to release all those feelings that my body was storing. It was so cathartic and helpful. Through this process I was able to release the anger and sadness that I had felt for months. And although my letter was not as emphatic as the one Margaret wrote on page 337 of Helping Couples Heal, I literally felt the feelings and the tension leave my body which seemed to open the door for more possibility of recovery. ERCEM is a lifesaver because it taught us how to communicate, build trust, process our feelings and showed us how to release them so we could build a new life together.

As an APSATS Certified Betrayal Trauma Coach, I have found that most partners want to stay married after betrayal, but often they don’t have the right help, each only focusing on their own healing. In my opinion, betrayal trauma is a couples issue and there must be some sort of treatment plan specifically geared towards healing the broken relationship. My ERCEM training was above and beyond what I could have expected in terms of using real life, common sense solutions. 

Carol Sheets is a genius when it comes to knowing what needs to be done to help the couple heal. I utilize her tools and exercises with every one of my couples and the results are amazing.

Tiffany Comiskey, ACC, CPC

Betrayal Trauma Specialist